im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
