she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
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Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
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After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
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