i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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