he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
