I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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