It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
im holly from the hills drunk
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
