She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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