I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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