Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
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