I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
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Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
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My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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