I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
