Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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