Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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