how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
