I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
