Farmville is her only friend.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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