Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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