i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
