JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
