I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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