Taylor Swift is so right about you.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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