I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
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