Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
