She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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