You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize