I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
