If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
