she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
