What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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