I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
