do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just invented taco cereal.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
