talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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