I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
