just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
do nipples grow back?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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