dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
