She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
