i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
worst night to have a conscience
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
