I skipped work to stalk him.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
