You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
