i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
