Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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