How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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