Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
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How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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