My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
