We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize