I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
