is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
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