She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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