these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
