I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
