Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
