I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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