There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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