since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize