so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
