The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
