Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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