How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
