my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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